Help Your Children

Divorce. These days, it is hard to come by an individual who does not know someone who has been divorced, or who has not been divorced themselves. In Hollywood, divorce is seemingly becoming a common occurrence, while paving the way for a society where we're not only getting married later in life, but also searching for an almost unrealistic level of happiness in our marriage. 

Many couples considering divorce refuse to believe that divorce can have a negative effect on their children. But how can anyone believe this when we force the education of love, marriage, abstinence until married and that God believe divorce is wrong? I remember watching children around me at a young age crumble a part at school and home when parents went through divorces. Children suffer from serious separation anxiety when some one important leaves there life... specially if they had been seen together everyday. 

A long term study released in 2002 by the Institute for American Values found that unhappily married adults who divorced were no more likely to report emotional or psychological improvements than those who stayed married. So it seems to me people are just deciding on divorce instead of looking at the real problems which lie in each person self. Divorce does in fact NOT improve your emotional heath. I think it would be safe to assume that this is due to the stress and financial burden divorce inflicts upon couples.

The Institute for American Values study found that almost eight out of ten couples who avoided divorce were happily married five years later. Surprising, isn't it? People are being cowards when it comes to staying and committing to one person. The second they have an opportunity to run, they do. Sometimes it’s best to work the relationship out... after all you did say forever. 

Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parents marriage. Of these, close to half will see the breakup of a parents second marriage. The reason they witness a second breakup is because so many couples divorce and then remarry without knowing the true cause of their marriage problems in the first marriage. This is exactly why the second marriage divorce rate is higher then that of the first marriage! 

Children often try to stop the divorce of their parents, but there are many who seem to accept it at first. These who seem to accept it may even tell their parents that they are happy about the divorce. This is not necessarily the case, as one would see if he or she spoke with the child for a while. There are many things that divorce does to a family, and there are many things that is does to the child. These effects are rarely positive, or helpful depending upon the family’s prior situation. Divorce has many negative effects on the psychological, and social aspects of a child’s life. 

You would assume death in a family would cause the most phycological problems for a child, right? Wrong. Children in divorced homes actually experience more trauma then those who are in homes for a deceased parent. This is true because when a spilt up between parents happens the children often blame themselves and lash out at everyone. 

Forty percent of children are being raised without fathers. On that note a child in a female-headed home is ten times more likely to be beaten or murdered. Kids six years after marriage breakup revealed that they tended to be lonely, unhappy, anxious and insecure even after all that time.  Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than children whose parents have remained married.

Divorce causes a serious strain on everyone in the household. This would explain why people who come from broken homes are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not come from broken homes. Oh yeah, seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes. 

It’s very obvious that children need stable, loving homes with both their mom and dad. There is, of course an exception to every rule, and in this case it is households where abuse is taking place. Children should under no circumstances remain in an abusive atmosphere that is unsafe for them.

But if there is no abuse taking place in your marriage and the two of you have simply "grown apart",or fell out of love, I urge you to seek out help for your marriage before you give up completely. The social and mental effects divorce has on children is countless. For your children's sake, even if you're feeling hopeless right now, get help for your marriage.