As a writer and reader I find myself completely challenged in both aspects. I can never read as much as I want. Or write every thought I find interesting in my head down on paper. Basically I feel I am trapped in my own head at moments. ADD. Thoughts and questions fly by quickly, some of them never given a chance to be a second thought. So writing down things gives my mind a chance to settle down and give life to a situation while reading what I wrote, because my mind never wants to chill out and take in ideas or thoughts.
In my mind reading and writing go hand in hand. It’s like love and marriage you can’t have one with the other... exactly Paul and Peggy Bundy. Some one had to sit down, take the time to write down what they feel the scene conveys in their mind, and then as an audience we take the time to read it. Good writers leave you with a connection to what they write and can convince you of a situation.
Reading for me is actually harder then writing. Thanks to ADD,attention deficit disorder, my mind wonders terribly while reading. The words jumble together, I can’t focus, and I constantly move and twitch. One minute I am reading about who the killer is going to catch next, then thinking about magical unicorns in a candy coated forest ADD... its awesome. Let me just say when a book does catch my attention, I can’t put it down. It’s true this has happened a time or two in my life. With that being said the only books that really capture my attention and make me want to read and keep going are about drugs, violence, sex, teenage waste, and angst.
Writing is also hard for me, but ALOT easier then reading. Mostly depends on what I am trying to write. I usually have my best train of thought of ideas when I am jogging. For some reason I think better when running. Strange I know. If I am writing something fiction, or opinionated I find my mind enjoys this more so it focuses. But no offense Mr. Whitman but papers like this one are like curing a bleeding wound with salt, PAINFUL. To be perfectly honestly... I don’t like writing about myself because I never know what to say. With some time, dedication, a lot of effort, and making myself focus, I can finish and somewhat confine my thoughts in a few pieces of paper.
Since I am a photographer and painter the second I take the picture or paint an image, it can say a thousand words without me ever having to speak one. Or I can look at it and the image not speak anything to the viewer or me. With that being said writing is WAY more complex. There is a literal count of words, trust me I see in the bottom left hand corner of pages counting away as I type, yes it is annoying. A writing piece can also be just like a picture and speak a million words in just one sentence. So, when I write I write for a purpose, a reason, a cause to reach out.
I have the short term memory of a gold fish. So when I read or write I constantly forget what I just read or wrote. ADD. Not to mention I can not at all do two things at once. I can’t drink water and drive without swerving. So trying to listen to my brain and write sometimes causes problems. I am sure at this point your saying to yourself, “Sara, why don’t you just get medicine for it?” Well, I have refused medication ever since I was ten years old. In my heart I believe I am the way I am for a reason, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Through accepting myself and not taking medication and learning to deal with it, I am stronger and more aware of my true self.
With all the being said I am just a normal human being. There is more then what you see on the exterior. Yes, I am awkward, strange, passionate, obnoxious , and head strong but at the end of the day I am Sara Yokley. The Irish Jew. There is honestly not any other way I would have it. I hope that through this class I learn to be more expressive, focused, and knowledgeable about the way of writing and reading.
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